The Modern Day Arsenal Fan… And Other Football Things

This Is All Based On Conversations, And Thought, I Had While Watching Arsenal v Bayern Muinch On Tuesday Night. High. (See If You’ve Ever Met An Arsenal Fan Like This)

 

I’ve Always Tried To Describe What It Means To Have A Great First Touch, But It Came To Mind That The Best Way To Do So Is;

 

‘The Best First Touch, Is Being In Control Of The Ball Before You Touch It’

 

Whether That’s Demanding The Ball And Doing With It What You Must, Or The Modern Day Xavi Touch Where No Matter How You Receive The Ball Your First Touch Is YOUR First Touch – You Already Have The Ball Under Your Spell & Do With It What You Want. Zidane. Rui Costa. Lee Cattermole. Bergkamp.

 

Also. Do You Not Find It Strange How Obsessively We Worship Other Humans. Like, Players Go Home & Chill With Their Children etc. But For 90 Minutes They’re Your Gods. It’s Unusual. I Will Elaborate On This Is A Later Post…

 

So, We’re Watching The Match & My Boy Is Like ‘I’m A Die Hard Gunner’ – The Famous Arsenal Song ‘Commeeee On Arsenal, Commeee On Arsenal’ Breaks The Silence At The Library, I Mean Higbury, No Wait The Emirates & We Both Sing Along. Me Jokingly. Commenting On The Lack Of Noise Heard. I Then Say “You Know The Real Fans Sing ‘And It’s Arseeeeeeenal, Arseeeeenal FC'” And He Gives Me A Blank Stare And Is Like… “I Don’t Even Know That One Still, I’m Just Down For My Gunners You Know”…

 

Arsenal Concede A Somewhat Comical Goal And “Oh Myyyyyy Lorrrrrrrrrddddddd” Is Heard – Silence, And Then “Flippin’ Hell This Clown Head” – Conversation Breaks Out About The Arsenal Goalkeeping Conundrum.

“Fabianki… Fabianki… What Ever Happened To Him, Does That Guy Even Play Football Anymore”  – I’m Thinking, Yes He Still Plays For You…

Debate Rages On As Szczensy Becomes The Source Of All Your Defensive Frailties. Though Probably Being One Of Arsenals Best Goal Keepers For A While. Suspect At Crosses I Must Say.

Then All You Hear Is;

“Wasn’t Fabianki Better Than Him…” *Dies*

 

Here Is Where I Tell You All Why To Me, Personally, Wilshere Is Not Yet World Class. Don’t Throw Hate Male At Me For Saying So.

So Wilshere Is Breaking Away From A Bayern Corner With The Ball At His Feet. He Rides Past Two Challenges With The Bayern Players Left Sprawling On The Deck, Clasping At His Shadow. The Picture Infront Of Him Now Is. He’s Running Towards The By Line. One Defender Infront Of Him. And A Defender Tracking The Run Of His Striker. Now, Bear In Mind This Is Late On In The Game. Wilshere Performs The Most Elaborate, Pin Point Hand Gesture And Curls The Ball Down The Line. The Pass Is Over Hit. And The Bayern Defender Intercepts. Now. It’s Those Decision That Make A World Class Player For Me. Knowing When To Pass and Not. Yes, The Crowd Are Probably Cheering Him On And Encouraging Forward Play, But It Isn’t Always The Right Option. Maybe Checking Back And Playing A Simple Pass To A Supporting Midfielder Is. But, Who Am I To Say. I Support Inter So My Football Knowledge Is Shit *Shrugs*.

 

@FeFeDean

 

Peace & Power

 

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Why Doesn’t He Ask…

Ladies… Have You Ever Wondered Why A Male You Are Seeing Doesn’t Ask You How Many Males You Have Slept With Previously?…

Here’s How The Conversation Went Between Tom & Michael Last Night… (Fabricated Names In Conversation For Sake Of Privacy)

Tom: So I’m Being Real With Her Fam!

Michael: I Hear That, Have You Asked How Many Man She Has Slept With Before?

Tom: Nah I Haven’t You Know…

Michael: Why Though? I Usually Do, It’s Calm Unless It’s Like A Mad Number…

Tom: You Know What It Is. I Don’t Even Care For Her Numbers. It’s A Myth Though Because If She Then Asks Me I’ll Be Like Yo… I Don’t Even Fucking Know!

Michael: *Laughs Uncontrollably* Rah, You Ran Through Mad Chicks

 

In Short. This Doesn’t Apply To Most Men. They Probably Can’t Be Bothered To Ask, Or Genuinely Don’t Care. I Just Found It Amusing So Thought I’d Share.

 

@FeFeDean

 

Peace & Power