This Is My Blog, Right. So This Is What I, Felix Dean, Believe Should Be Left In 2012.
So We’ve Had The Olympics, England’s Failure At The European Championships, And The Anti Climatic Prediction By The Mayans That The World Was Going To End. And Let Me Put It Out There, If Anyone Genuinely Believed That – You Should Be Left In 2012. Along With Memories Previously Mentioned Here’s What I Think Should Be Left In 2012. In No Order.
1. Cuffed Jeans Or Chinos – Look They Initially Seemed A Good Idea. Especially If You Want To Show Off Your New Puma Suedes. Yet, They Look So Cheap. The Invention Of ‘Pin Rolling’ (Defined By Myself As – Using Your Trouser, Folded In A Certain Way, To Clench Your Ankle Which Allows Your Trainers To Be On Full Show) Buried The Cuffed Alternative Six Feet Under. So If You’re Still Wearing Them Now. Leave Them In 2012.
Cuffed Chinos. Leave Them In 2012.
2. Mobile Phones In Profile Pictures – Look, Surely There Is Someone; A Friend, Your Mum, Your Cat Or Dog Who Can Take The Picture For You. Unless You Keep On Asking The Mirror On The Wall Who’s The Most Beautiful Of Them All. And It Probably Isn’t You. Leave Them In 2012.
3. Studs – Studs Fascinated Me When I Saw One Or Two People Wearing Them. It Felt Like They Had Genuinely Gone Out Of Their Way To Customize They’re Clothing. Innovative. Now They’re Being Reeled Out Of A Factory In China & Being Sold To Polly & Tanya In Primark. The Creativity Has Been Taken Out Of Them. And Wearing Them Now Shows A Limited Creativity & High Levels Of Conformity. The Nail In The Coffin Was While At A Hip Hop Party, A Friend Approached Me Who I Have Never Seen Out Before. I Was Blinded By A Light Coming From His Head. He Was Wearing What I Presumed Was A SnapBack Covered, And When I Mean Covered I Mean Covered In Silver Studs. Leave Them In 2012.
Studs. Leave Them In 2012.
4. Burgundy Trousers – To Be Honest, Burgundy Trousers Should Have Been Left In The First Half Of 2012. Their Credibility Dropped As The Year Went On. They Had Their Time. Their Time Ended. Like Every Trend It Will Come Around Again, So Maybe Put Them In The Attic And Bring Them Out At A Much Later Date. Leave Them In 2012.
5. YOLO Clothing – Look… Just Look… You’re Not About This Life. Take Off Your T-Shirt, Go Home And Play On A Games Console. I Needn’t Say Anymore. Please Just Take My Advice. Leave Them In 2012.
6. Shoulder Or Elbow Patches – Again, It Just Looks Cheap. I Don’t Think There Is A More Played Out Design This Year Than Elbow Patches. On Blazers. Jumpers. Knitwear. I Wouldn’t Be Surprised If River Island Tried To Incorporate An Elbow Patch Onto A Vest. Leave Them In 2012.
Shoulder Or Elbow Patches. Leave Them In 2012.
7. Having A Digital SLR Around Your Neck – No One Looks At You Anymore Like ‘Okay, I See You Bruh With That Canon’ – I Look Upon Those Who Still Carry Their Camera Around Their Neck With Pity And Think ‘Your Neck Is Definitely Hurting’ – Most People Now Have A Decent Camera. We Don’t Need To See It Constantly Mate. Seeing The Pictures You Actually Take Might Be Interesting Though, Are There Any? Leave Them In 2012.
8. Superdry – Sorry. I Know Most Of You Probably Own An Item Of Superdry Clothing, But It’s Boring As Fuck. Over Priced For What It Is. And Every Body Wears It. Personally I See No Attraction To The Brand. ‘Pop Down To Your Local TK Max For Amazing Offers On Superdry T-Shirts, Starting From £4.99’… Superdry. Leave Them In 2012.
9. Memes – ‘Bitches Be Like… *Inserts Desperate Attempt To Gain One More Follower*’ – I Haven’t Seen One That Is Mildly Amusing. And Most People Stoop Low Enough To Joke About Poverty, Racial Issues Or Make Sexist Remarks. Clever. Leave Them In 2012.
10. Double Denim – There Is No Way That Double Denim Will Ever Be Ridden Of Properly. As Denim Jackets & Jeans Will Always Be Sold. I Think It’s When Matching Double Denim Is Worn (Namely True Religion) That I Cringe & Break Down. Leave It In 2012.
And There We Have It, My List Of 10 Things That… WAIT A MINUTE – There’s A Number 11 On This List…
11. Nike Blazers – This Is The Story… I Leave A Party, And There’s A Man Handing Out Flyers About His Forthcoming Rave, He Approaches Three Girls, They Don’t Seem Too Interested – He Then Tries To Win Them Over By “*Points At Red Blazers On His Feet* Come On I’m Wearing Blazers And There Will Be Lots Of Boys In Blazers There”… What The Actual Fuck. So Yeah, EVERY Chuck And Larry Own A Pair Of Blazers Now. So Ditch Them & Get Creative. Leave Them In 2012.
Nike Blazers. Leave Them In 2012.
So That Concludes My List Of What Should Not Be Following Us Into The New Year. If I Offended Anyone. Tough Shit.
Peace & Power
@FeFeDean
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